Yelena Snape
by Miss Aruri
Summary: **I got chapter 7 up! Guess what? Lupin's in it! Don't kill me about the title...workin on it...open to suggestions!** 19 year old Snape is forced to go to Hogwarts with an uncle to help him run the class. But this isn't the story of a good little girl...
1. Chapter 1 - Back to Hogwarts

I sat in the carriage while it silently carried my to the castle. Hogwarts. I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, but with every attempt, the knot seemed to expand in size.  
  
I wrung my hands together, a nervous habit I had developed over the years of having to deal with losing a parent. In my case, both my parents. I looked out the window to see Hogwarts rapidly approaching. I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, the root of all my unhappy memories.  
  
My parents died here. In the potions room. They were speaking with my uncle, who was telling them about some secret potion bullshit. The most important thing I learned at Hogwarts was to never trust my uncle.  
  
If it weren't for his letter beckoning them to meet him at Hogwarts immediately, they'd still be alive. Oh, it was a shock to me as I was walking to Transfiguration to see them standing outside a door. They told me they were here to speak with my uncle and they'll visit me later. The last thing they ever told me was they'd see me soon.  
  
They lied.  
  
I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle. I hate my uncle! I'll say it a million times but not to his face. He'd surely poison me for that. It's his fault I have to stay with him.  
  
It sure took the Ministry a while to find me. I was already out of Hogwarts when the Minister of Magic himself came knocking at my door himself! I ran, but they caught me. They took me into my room and locked the door. He told me my parents were dead (like I didn't already know). He said I had to go into the custody of my Uncle.  
  
I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge. I hate Cornelius Fudge! And I hate my uncle.  
  
He hates me. To him, I'm a mere nuisance that demands his time, money and attention. He hates me. I believe he hates Cornelius Fudge as well. Something we have in common. Damn. It's the only thing we have in common. That and our hair. Black. Boring ugly black hair. I tried dyeing it blonde with a charm during my fifth year, but that turned my hair vomit green. I haven't dared to try that charm again since then.  
  
As the carriage drew nearer to the castle, I had thoughts of jumping out and running. But for some reason I remained in my seat. I wanted to scream. To run. To do something besides sitting here. Why should I be forced to sit in the very same place my parents were killed day after day alongside my uncle, of all people? I'm sure he hates this just as much as I do.  
  
When the carriage stopped, I didn't dare move. I didn't want to leave the sanctuary of this carriage and enter the place that nearly drives me insane with the mere thought of it! So I stayed in my seat.  
  
The door was opened by a tall boy dressed in Hogwarts robes with a badge reading 'Prefect' on his chest. "Excuse me, Miss." He said, seeming rather annoyed. "Go join the rest of the students and don't dawdle!" A student! He thought I was a student!  
  
"Excuse me, Sir." I mocked him, trying to keep myself from shouting with rage. "But I did realize that and I am not a student. I am a student teacher here and I believe I should be treated with a bit more respect." I slowly climbed out of the carriage on my shaking legs and slammed the door behind me. The prefect scowled at me and stalked off to another carriage. "Brat." I muttered.  
  
There it was. Hogwarts. It loomed in front of me, beckoning me to come inside. 'Come in and see your parents' death place.' It said. 'Come in to spend the year with your uncle.' 'Come in to hell.'  
  
I turned away from it and started walking away quickly. "The castle's that way, miss." The prefect from before said to me with a laugh in his voice. I ignored him. I walked past the carriages and wanted to run. But something stopped me dead in my tracks. "Go to Hogwarts." A voice arose in the back of my head. "Go back. Your uncle will be upset. Poison.Poison!"  
  
I sank to my knees and screamed, covering my face with my hands. I was going insane! I had to get out of here! I had to see my parents again! I never even said goodbye.  
  
Slowly and reluctantly, I rose to my feet, stumbling as I turned to face my fears. Hogwarts. I didn't feel my feet moving. They carried me as far as the great doors of Hogwarts and then stopped. I craned my neck to look up at the massive building.  
  
Hogwarts.  
  
I can do this.  
  
Just go inside.  
  
Run! Run away!  
  
Go inside!  
  
Run away!!  
  
GO INSIDE!  
  
Slower than a snail, I pushed open one of the great doors and put one foot on the hard ground of Hogwarts.  
  
Hogwarts.  
  
I did it.  
  
I am inside.  
  
I am afraid.  
  
I am worried.  
  
I am Yelena Snape. 


	2. Chapter 2 - I HATE HIM!

EEP! Sorry! I forgot the disclaimer for my first Chapter! Oops! Well this one's for chapter one and two! Sorry! DON'T SUE!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Hogwarts, and all the stuff that isn't Yelena Snape belongs to JK Rowling, but I'd trade my beanie baby collection for Wood! Tee hee hee.  
  
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I stumbled down the empty hallways, trying to find the Great Hall. I had been at Hogwarts two years before, but my memories of the school's layout left me.  
  
Peeves the Poltergeist flew past me, hanging upside down in midair. "Hey big nose!" He cackled at me. I pulled out my wand to curse him, but he had disappeared. My hand flew to my nose. It was rather large and ugly. Just like my uncle's. I heard in their world, Muggles have operations to make their noses prettier. I wish I could have that done to my ugly hawk's nose.  
  
One of the portraits, a tiny old lady in a rocking chair, pointed a hand at me. "Are you lost, my dear?" She asked, her hands trembling. Although I hated to admit I was lost, I did anyways. "Can you please tell me where I can find the Great Hall?"  
  
The old woman looked me over, deep in thought. Her features lit up as a smile stretched across her face. "I know who you are!" She said gleefully. "I remember you! You're Professor Snape's Niece! It seems like only yesterday I saw you walking the halls with the rest of your fellow, er, Hufflepuff, was it?"  
  
I shook my head. "It was Slytherin. But, please, where is the Great Hall?" The woman paused, racking her brain, trying to remember. "The Great Hall." She muttered. "The Great Hall.Oh yes! The Great Hall! I remember now! You go up those stairs, make a.a left, I think, and then turn right past the portrait of the elephant- or was it a horse? -And the Great Hall should be down that hallway.I'm not sure which way, but it should be there.I think."  
  
I turned and headed to the stairs before I would forget the directions. I left the old lady muttering something about the portrait of the elephant. I could've sworn I heard her mention something about the Dark Arts, but I didn't pay much attention.  
  
"Send my regards to Dumbledore, will you?" She called after me. "My name is Agatha Wicket!"  
  
I turned left at the top of the staircase, trembling from head to toe. My Uncle would surely be upset with me. He really hates me.and I hate him!  
  
I was looking for the portrait of the elephant. I was expecting to see something huge. I mean, it's an elephant. They're massive. But It turns out I walked past the portrait three times. When I finally found it, I wanted to tear it to shreds. Although I did give it a good punch. It was tiny! Barely larger than my hand.  
  
I have to admit, it was a rather nice picture. It showed the profile of a purple elephant draped in dark purple flowers. Its tusks were made of gold and there was a very complicated pattern in the background. I didn't give it much thought. But how the painter could add such finite details on something so small was beyond me.  
  
So I turned right down the corridor. Further down, I heard a loud voice. It was the voice of Headmaster Dumbledore. I quickened my pace and found myself in front of two large doors. I shivered, not wanting to go in. Not wanting to have to spend the rest of the year with my uncle. Not wanting to recall the horrible day of having to find out my parents were dead.  
  
I hate my uncle for so many reasons. I hate him for being so damn cruel! I hate him for hating me! I hate him for only escaping in a coma instead of dying! Maybe then my parents would still be alive.  
  
With a deep breath, I pushed the door open.  
  
Silence.  
  
All eyes -hundreds of them- were on me. The entire Hogwarts stared at me. Not moving, not speaking. All life seemed to be on pause.  
  
And then there was my uncle. His dirty, ugly black hair. His large ugly nose. His dark eyes. I HATE HIM!  
  
He stared at me, seeming to say 'Stupid girl.Nuisance.Have to waste my money on her.I hate her.' I HATE YOU SEVERUS SNAPE!  
  
Finally, someone broke the deafening silence. It was Dumbledore. I would have kissed him right then and there. I was never so happy to hear someone speak ever in my life.  
  
"Ah, yes," He said, gazing at me through his half-moon spectacles. "Everyone, I'd like for you to meet our new student teacher. This is Yelena Snape." Whispers and Murmurs filled the hall. If whispering and murmuring were people, I'd kill them! Many students laughed. I saw out of the corner of my eyes the prefect from the carriage laughing among his peers. "She's a loon.just like Snape. I wonder why he'd take her in."  
  
I didn't hear any more. I lunged at him, throwing him to the ground. He let out a shout with surprise just before I began punching him. He tried to block me, but I was too strong for him. I heard someone shout my name. I didn't listen. I was screaming, crying, blindly punching. Someone grabbed my shoulders. I pushed them away.  
  
More people began calling my name. A strong pair of hands grabbed my shoulders tightly. I tried to fight but whoever was holding me was strong. I was pulled from the prefect and was dragged from the great hall. The last thing I saw was the prefect rising from the ground, helped by friends. Friends? How could this little bastard have friends?  
  
Maybe I am crazy.but no one says so behind my back.  
  
The doors slammed shut and I whirled around to see who had dragged me away from giving that kid what he deserved.  
  
Fuck!  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He said so sharply that a dagger would be less sharp. I looked down at his feet. His big ugly feet.  
  
I hate him!  
  
I didn't answer, but I smirked as the image of him dead ran across my mind. "You think you were funny!?" He shouted, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. Hard.  
  
I forced myself to look at his face. His ugly face. Oh, how I wanted to say it. Those three words I have played so often in my head. The three words I imagined myself saying to him countless times. I wanted to shout it! Scream it in his ears!  
  
I hate you!  
  
"You have just made a fool of yourself, and me." Who cares about you? I thought as he dragged on and on about rule breaking and god knows what. I didn't care about him. No one cares about him. I'm not the only one that hates him.  
  
"Is that clear?" He finished. His dirty hair hung over his ugly face. I want to vomit every time I look at him. Not knowing, or caring, what he had just said, I nodded.  
  
How I hate my uncle.  
  
Going back into the Great Hall was a nightmare. I pulled my black hair from my ponytail and tried as best I could to hide my face. Not because I was ashamed. But because I didn't want to look like him. I saw the prefect. He wasn't whispering. He wasn't saying things about me.  
  
Good.  
  
At least we have one smart person in this building.  
  
My uncle was squeezing my arm, leading my down the hall. I didn't care that everyone was staring at me. At least they didn't say anything. Up at the high table, my uncle threw me into a seat. I almost fell over.  
  
I didn't want to look like him.  
  
But as I looked down onto the silver plate in front of me, I noticed, with my black hair hanging down in my face and my brown eyes shining through, I looked exactly like him!  
  
I let out a shout of rage and quickly pulled my hair back out of my face. I knew my uncle was staring at me, but I didn't care. Let him stare.  
  
The plates filled with food, and I ate. But none of it tasted good. It all tasted bitter. Bitter like how I felt. Bitter like how I feel towards my uncle. Bitter to how I feel about every single person in that goddamn room at that moment.  
  
I had my eyes down for the whole meal. I stared at my food. I stared at my feet. I stared at my lap. I stared at anything other than the students and my uncle.  
  
When the feast was over, my uncle grabbed my wrist. I tried to break free of his grasp, but he wouldn't let go. He led me into an empty corridor and pulled out a bottle of dark green liquid. It was the color of my hair when I tried to dye it blonde.  
  
"You know what this is?" He hissed. I knew very well what it was. I graduated from Hogwarts, didn't I? "Poison. Poison that is strong enough that one drop could kill you!" One drop, eh? Sounds pretty good.  
  
"One drop of this in your drink will kill you, or severely injure you.you'll never be the same." But what would happen if I slipped a drop into his drink. That would be a happy day indeed. They'd probably lock me up in Azkaban for that. But once I'm gone, I'll be with my parents. And my parents love me.  
  
They were the only ones.  
  
"I trust I don't have to tell you any more to be sure that you'll behave." He said. I didn't move. Putting the poison back, he took my wrist again and dragged me down to the dungeons. He led me to a cold hallway. But I didn't dare show signs of weakness.  
  
He led me to a small door. "This is your room." He muttered, handing me a small key. "Loose this and you're locked out." But stupid old Severus had forgotten the spell to unlock doors. "Be in the dungeons after breakfast. Do not be late." And with that, he disappeared into the door across from mine.  
  
I unlocked the door to my room and shivered; a gust of wind had hit me full force. I ran into my room and locked the door.  
  
"Lumos." I muttered. The room lit up with a flash. I saw a few candles, a fireplace, a rather uncomfortable looking bed, a table, and a dresser. There was a full-length mirror hanging next to the fireplace and a door, which probably led to a bathroom. Looking inside the dresser, I saw my clothes were already there.  
  
How kind of my uncle to unpack for me. Not. He probably sent someone else to do it. And why would he give me the coldest room in the castle?  
  
Because he hates me, that's why.  
  
That I convinced myself every day and night.  
  
I quickly changed into my pajama gown and slid under the covers. They were warm enough. Thank god for that. I was tired. I'd fallen asleep in minutes, only to enter a nightmare. It was the day my parents died.  
  
I was walking to Transfiguration. I saw Mum and Dad walking in the opposite direction. I leapt into their arms. It was so good to see them. They said they were going down to the dungeons to sort something out with my uncle. They said they'd see me soon.  
  
After classes, I was sitting on my bed when there was a knock on my door. I saw a nervous looking first year. "P-professor McGonnogall wants to see y- you." I nearly laughed. He sounded just like our Defense Against Dark Arts teacher. P-p-professor Q-quirrell. Ha ha. I went to McGonnogall's office to find her crying.  
  
That was when she told me.  
  
Something had gone wrong with the potion. She didn't know what it was, but she said my uncle was in a coma. I didn't care about him. He hates me, remember? When I asked about my parents, a fresh batch of tears flew down her cheeks. "T-they didn't make it."  
  
I didn't remember much. I ran, crying, to the astronomy tower. I stood on one of the windows, kicking the glass with my foot. I looked down, ready to jump. I heard someone call my name, but I didn't listen. I leaped from the window into the cool night air, plunging down to the grass below.  
  
And then I wake up.  
  
I lay in bed for hours, crying. I never did get any more sleep that night.  
  
If it weren't for my damn uncle, my parents would be alive.  
  
I hate Severus Snape. 


	3. Chapter 3 - The need for love

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine accept Yelena Snape, Agatha Wicket, and the Elephant. This is Chapter Three.duh, genius.  
  
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I lay in bed till morning, staring at the ceiling. I never wanted to come here! I hate it here! Where did Uncle keep that poison? Maybe if he was dead, I didn't have to stay here. After all, I am nineteen. I don't need anyone to take care of me. Especially not my uncle!  
  
Out the small window, I saw the sun had already made its way into the sky.  
  
Shit! I'm late!  
  
I jumped out of bed and changed into some black robes. I ran into the bathroom, brushed my teeth. I didn't have time to even brush my hair, which was tangled and sticking up all over the place.  
  
"Nice nose you got there." The mirror commented smugly. "Shut up." I snarled, pulling my hair into a messy ponytail. As I ran out, I heard the mirror shout, "Brush your hair!"  
  
Rude mirror! I made a mental note to myself to remove its ability to speak once I had the time. Talking mirrors annoyed me. I never had a nice one yet, in all my nineteen years! They just tell you the truth about people's looks, and my looks were horrible. I had never been attractive. Boys seemed to agree. I found it hard to find someone pretty when they have raven black hair that never stays in place, a large nose, a round belly, and dark circles under their eyes.  
  
I have been rejected many times in life. By girls and boys and my uncle. When I still attended Hogwarts as a student, Uncle always made his point clear that I made the wrong potion or that I had done something wrong, even when I did the same thing as everyone else.  
  
I'm a disgrace. I bring shame to my family, or whatever's left of them.  
  
Turning a corner, I heard a loud trumpeting sound coming from the wall. Turning to look, I saw the little portrait of the elephant. It was facing me and trumpeting like mad. Somehow, the flowers had fallen off his back and he couldn't get them back.  
  
It was a rather cute sight; a tiny purple elephant picking up flowers with its trunk, only to drop them again. The elephant stomped his foot angrily, causing the frame to shake. He fell over onto his side as I laughed gleefully. "You're a silly one." I commented as he rose to his feet, forgetting about the flowers. With a yawn, his eyes drooped shut and he leaned against a side of the portrait.  
  
I realized he was asleep when he started to snore. Giggling, I continued down the hallway.  
  
I had always loved animals. My parents bought me present when I started Hogwarts. A tiny gray kitten. Maurice- that's what I named him -was my best friend. He was always there for me. Even though he couldn't deliver letters, he was still very useful. He'd be there when I needed him and would come when I called. He'd always sleep on the pillow beside my head.  
  
But he too is dead. In my seventh year, he sat on his usual perch- the window by my bed - casually licking his paws. Since I had a rebellious attitude and didn't act like the rest of the girls, I hadn't many friends. Actually, many people hated me with a passion, just because I was being myself.  
  
So back to Maurice- I still can't say his name without crying -. I was studying for my potions exam when some girls thought it would be funny if they threw things at my cat. At first it was small things; buttons, hairpins, etc. But one of the girls leapt onto my bed, grabbed the book out of my hands and chucked it at Maurice! I shouted at him to come down from the window, but it was too late. The book hit him with full force. He was always a small cat; the book knocked him right off the window, sending him falling into the lake.  
  
I was frantic; I ran from the castle and jumped into the ice-cold lake. I knew Maurice didn't know how to swim. I almost drowned myself looking for him. One of the teachers got me out. I don't remember who.  
  
I remember when it happened. I couldn't stop crying. Uncle kicked me out of his class saying I was disturbing the other students. He didn't even care! But at least I didn't have to sit in his class for an hour listening to him go on and on about boring potion shit and taking points off from just about everyone who made a noise louder than breathing.  
  
I arrived at the large wooden doors crying at more bad memories Hogwarts had brought back to me. What would happen when I went into the Great Hall? Would people stare at me? Would they laugh? I didn't know what they would do.  
  
The only thing to do is try.  
  
So I pushed the doors open, holding my breath. To my surprise, no one even noticed I had come in. Not even Uncle. They were all eating their breakfast and talking. I jogged across to the staff table and took my seat next to my uncle. Either he didn't notice me or he chose to ignore me. He was neither eating nor talking.  
  
He was staring with those horrible dark eyes of his that see right through you.  
  
I ate slowly so that most of the students were gone by the time I had finished. But Uncle chose to remain, watching me, making sure I wouldn't misbehave again.  
  
Did I mention that I hate him?  
  
Of course.  
  
I hate him.  
  
"Get up." He snarled at me. "You'll be late." Late for what? Late for having to sit beside him the whole day? Late for watching him torture his class? Late for being bored?  
  
When I got to the potions room, I was late for all of the above.  
  
At first I couldn't go into the room. I couldn't go into the very room where my parents were killed. I couldn't stay there the entire day! I would surely die. I would rather have had to live with my uncle forever than to go into the potions room.  
  
Students pushed past me as I stared blankly at them. I heard them laugh and whisper.  
  
'What's she supposed to teach? Weird Ed.?'  
  
'See that girl? She's such a freak!'  
  
And so on.  
  
But finally, their laughs got to me. They were right. I was a freak. I was afraid of going into a room, for god's sake! I didn't want to go in, but I had to prove them wrong. Slowly, I went inside, dreading every bit of it.  
  
Once Uncle saw me, he pointed to a desk and smirked. "You'll be staying here." He said. "Don't touch anything or do anything unless asked."  
  
I rolled my eyes. Keeping me here like a trapped animal! The nerve of him! I'll get him back one day. Once I started thinking straight.  
  
The classes were extremely boring. All I did was sit there while Uncle took points from Griffyndor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. Never Slytherin. The only time he ever took points from Slytherin was when he was taking points from me. During the Slytherin/Griffyndor double potions, I saw conflict among the students.  
  
On my eleventh day of 'teaching', the fifth years had become a problem.  
  
This ugly blonde guy, Malfoy, I think, kept calling some girl a mudblood, causing the Griffyndors to shout and protest at him. One Griffyndor, Longbottom, tried to curse Malfoy, but ended up hitting Uncle with wingardium leviosa instead of hitting Malfoy with the body bind.  
  
Uncle flew across the room and into a bookcase, which toppled over onto him. I couldn't help but laugh. Everyone else was silent. Longbottom looked like he was going to vomit.  
  
When Uncle got up, he had a look of pure hatred and anger on his face that even I was afraid of. "Longbottom." He said, making the poor kid jump out of his seat. "Detention." He hung his head in shame as he sank back down into his chair. "And 100 points from Griffyndor. I never want something like this to happen. Ever."  
  
What? 100 points! And he didn't even take anything off from Slytherin. I blew up. I stood up so quickly that my seat toppled over backwards. I stormed over to my Uncle, fuming.  
  
"One hundred points?" I screamed as the room went silent. "That's not fair! You could ask anyone and they'd tell you Malfoy was calling someone a mudblood!" A Griffyndor girl with thick brown hair looked up at me, smiling. "If you ask me, Longbottom did what I would have done. He's just got bad aim! If anyone gets detention, it should be Malfoy. You know he's always starting trouble."  
  
I saw Malfoy looking very smug indeed as he whispered to his friends. Neville, even though he was still upset, was grinning. "You've never taken even half a point from your own house! I was a Slytherin and I'm defending the whole class of Griffyndors! So.does the punishment still stand? Or will you make some changes?"  
  
I have to admit, I could've been more persuasive. Students were whispering about me but I didn't care. My eyes were locked on Uncle's. After what seemed like years, he responded.  
  
"I do not accept inappropriate behavior from my class or even the young and stupid teacher who doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut!" I stared at him. How dare he insult me! Anger surged through my body. "Get out of my class and do not come back until you have permission from me." He spat at me. I saw Malfoy's grin widen.  
  
My eyes surveyed over the students and my Uncle. "Get out." He repeated. It was so embarrassing! Everyone was staring at me. Before anyone could see me cry, I turned on my heel and ran from the class. "See me after class for your detention." I heard Uncle say to Longbottom on my way out.  
  
I tore down the hallways, trying not to crash into walls as I turned. How dare him!  
  
I want to die! I hate it here! I hate my uncle, I hate all those little bastards, I hate that smart-mouthed prefect, I hate Hogwarts, and I hate myself!  
  
The only thing I didn't hate was the purple little elephant, who was probably still trying to pick up its flowers.  
  
When I got to my room, I unlocked the door and ran to the bathroom. I looked through all the cupboards and drawers for what I needed, throwing everything else to the floor.  
  
"What's your hurry?" The mirror asked. "Looking for a brush, I hope." Angry, frustrated and upset, I ripped the mirror off the wall and threw it on the ground. It shattered, spraying the room with bits of glass. Finally.I had found what I needed.  
  
I bent down and picked up the largest piece of glass I could find.  
  
This was it. I hate it here. I want to leave forever. Nobody will make me come back! I'll be with my parents and Maurice.  
  
I took the glass in my right hand, turned my left wrist face up, and cut a neat 'X' into my flesh. The blood came so suddenly I almost dropped the glass. I took the glass in my left hand, which was trembling, and made an 'X' on my right wrist.  
  
I watched the blood flow down my wrists, staining my robes. It was a river. In seconds, a puddle had started. As I stared at it, my vision started to blur. Me legs gave way and I slid down the wall onto the floor. I sat in a puddle of my own blood, still staring at my wrists.  
  
I'll be with you soon.  
  
I thought of my parents. They'd be so happy to see me. I miss them so much.  
  
Oops. I forgot to close my door.  
  
But I was too weak to get up and close it. After an eternity of sitting here waiting for death, consciousness left me. As I fell to the floor, blood splashing on my face, I was smiling. 


	4. Chapter 4 - Wake Up Call

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine accept Yelena, Agatha, and that gosh darn cute little elephant.  
  
AN: Sorry 'bout that last chapter. It was kinda dark.and yea. I actually hadn't planned for my fic to take that turn down the road of fanfictionness.but hey! Oh, and please review!  
  
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"How is she?"  
  
"Not very good. Her heartbeat is slowing drastically. There's not much we can do for her."  
  
"Use magic."  
  
"Magic would be too strong for her right now. It would surely kill her."  
  
"Do something.why won't she wake?"  
  
"She's in a coma, Sir."  
  
Silence.  
  
"I am sorry."  
  
"It's all my fault. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't be.like this."  
  
Voices.  
  
All there was in the darkness was voices, which I couldn't distinguish.  
  
And the pain.  
  
Heaven isn't supposed to hurt this much.  
  
And then it hit me. I was still alive.  
  
Damn.  
  
I wanted to get up and maybe jump out of the astronomy tower, but my body wouldn't respond. I tried to lift my arms.  
  
Nothing.  
  
I tried to turn my head.  
  
Nothing.  
  
It felt that cement blocks were resting on my eyelids. I couldn't move!  
  
"What's that beeping?"  
  
"Oh, my gosh.we're losing her!"  
  
"Do something!"  
  
And then the pain was gone. I felt myself float up into the air. It was then my eyes slowly opened. Looking up, I saw my parents! My mother was holding Maurice in her arms! I tried to call their names, but my mouth wouldn't move.  
  
"She's.she's gone."  
  
"SHUT UP! She still has a chance!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Sir. Please sit down. Drink this. It'll help."  
  
"No. I want her to know that I'm sorry.it's all my fucking fault!"  
  
Whoever the owners of these voices were, they must be talking about some other girl. No one cares about me, accept people who were already dead.  
  
And just when I was a hair's length away from my parents, I felt something pulling my back. I tried to scream, to call out to my parents, to beg them to help me! Why wouldn't they do something besides stand there and smile at me? Didn't they see I was falling?  
  
Why? I have no life down there! Why can't I just die? I don't want to live.nobody else wants me to live either. This isn't fair!  
  
I was falling quicker; my parents had become a distant speck in the sky. And then they were gone. Tears fell freely down my face and I could do nothing about them. Back down into the dark.back down to my living hell.  
  
It's not that bad. I'll just kill myself once I get the chance. And I won't survive. I promise.  
  
I felt myself land on something soft.a bed?  
  
"Sir! She's back!"  
  
"What? H-how? It's a miracle."  
  
"I don't know, Sir, but she sure is lucky."  
  
Yeah.I was lucky. Not.  
  
Very slowly, I felt the cement blocks being lifted off my eyelids, which opened just slightly as my head tilted to the side.  
  
Someone rushed to me, taking my hand in theirs. Whoever it was had warm hands.  
  
At first, I could only see a big, colorful blur. But as time went by, my eyes adjusted, but they were almost closed, so I could only see feet. Black shoes on big feet.  
  
Whoever it was kept rubbing my hand.  
  
"It's alright. You're alive.you'll be fine.it's alright."  
  
Damnit! They were keeping me alive and away from the only ones who loved me? Whoever they were, I hate them! Why won't they stop tormenting me?  
  
"D-did you really want to die?" The same voice asked very quietly.  
  
What kind of question is that? Whoever had my hand was a real idiot.  
  
"Of course." I murmured. "I don't have any reasons to stay alive."  
  
And I drifted into unconsciousness yet again, but someone was holding my hands, whispering softly, although I couldn't hear.  
  
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AN: Sorry this chapter was so short. I'll make it up to you by making a longer chapter 5. And it'll be much better too. ;) Oh! Pop Quiz! I wonder if any of you have any idea who the voices belong to? I know! Duh.I kinda wrote the story.uh.yup! So, please review! I need reviews! Ha ha.actually, I don't need them, but I'd like them. And I'm SO glad my character hasn't turned into a Mary Sue cause I've been wondering if she was or wasn't. 


	5. Chapter 5 - Elephant and the Mind-Lock

AN: Ok…chapter 5…nothing special…yea…just read it. I'm bad at summaries.  
  
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When I woke up again, it was dark. Very dark. Now would be the perfect night to escape from life and from wherever the hell I was. I tried to sit up, but couldn't. My muscles wouldn't respond and my vision was still horribly blurry. But I was able to see enough of my surroundings to know that I was in the Hospital Wing.  
  
Turning to my right, I saw someone asleep in a chair next to my bed. I couldn't distinguish who it was, so I just lay in bed. I stared up at the ceiling, wishing my family would come back to me.  
  
"Come back!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, which wasn't very loud at all; it was just a very loud hoarse whisper. The only thing that happened took place in the chair by my bed. I turned to see who it was.  
  
I screamed.  
  
It was Uncle.  
  
"Shhh…" He said in a voice so unlike his own. "Don't yell. You'll wake up the other residents. Does anything hurt?" He had gotten up from the chair and was standing over me.  
  
"You will be in a minute if you don't leave."  
  
Why won't he leave? If only he had found me a few minutes later in the bathroom. I would've been dead by then.  
  
He looked down at me with his dark eyes so similar to my own. For a moment, I thought he might leave, but I should've known better. Uncle Severus isn't one who would give up that easily.  
  
"Did you mean what you said?" He asked, sitting back down. "Last week when I asked you if you wanted to die…"  
  
He's so stupid! I almost burst out laughing. "Of course I meant it. The whole world hates me…my only living family hates me…even people I don't know hate me! They killed Maurice…" I glared at him. "They killed my poor cat with your book."  
  
His expression didn't change. "I-I never knew. If you had told me-" "You wouldn't have given a shit about him." I interrupted. But as I stared at his saddened face, I felt the tiniest bit of guilt rise in the pit of my stomach.  
  
"It was you, wasn't it?"  
  
He must've been the one who was so concerned about me. He must've been the one who stayed near me when I nearly died, although I wasn't too happy about that. He did look different than usual. Had he stayed with me the whole time?  
  
Did he really love me?  
  
Probably not. He just wanted to look good, having a niece in a coma and all, who wouldn't visit.  
  
He looked as if my question had hurt him. His eyes seemed to say 'who else would have stayed with you?' 'Why would I have left you?' Then, slowly, he nodded his head.  
  
"Yes." He spoke so I could barely hear him. "I found you almost dead in your room. I stayed with you ever since then. I never left your side."  
  
I didn't understand? Why would a man who hated me so much want to stay with me?  
  
"B-but you hate me…" I whispered so he had to have his ear practically in my mouth to be able to hear me.  
  
His eyes widened. For about five minutes we stayed like that, just staring at each other. Then I saw something I never saw before on his face. Sadness.  
  
And then he rose from his chair. Probably to get away from me. So I was right after all.  
  
Or not.  
  
He returned a moment later with Madame Pomfrey. "Are you alright, dear?" She asked worriedly. "Does anything hurt?" I nodded. "My wrists." A shiver ran up my spine at the mention of my wrists, which were each marked with an 'X'.  
  
"I should clean the bandages again. I'll be just a minute." And she disappeared through the curtains that were drawn around my bed.  
  
Uncle didn't say anything to me.  
  
When Madame Pomfrey came back and said she had to take the bandages off, I screamed and tried to fight, but my body was too weak. I had lost too much blood, so finally, exhausted; I let her remove them without a fight. It was very painful. The bandaged had torn off the fresh scabs and I howled with pain. But nobody did anything to help.  
  
Once Madame Pomfrey had applied fresh bandages to my wrists, the pain stopped almost instantly, although my wrists still tingled. "Severus," She said to Uncle. "You need to sleep. I'll watch her."  
  
Uncle shook his head. "I'm staying right here." He said in a low whisper. Madame Pomfrey shook her head. "You need sleep! Look at you. You have bags the size of Hogsmeade under your eyes. Go to your own bed and get a good night's sleep. I promise I'll have you woken. Please."  
  
Uncle was stubborn, but after a while, he left silently. Once he was gone, Madame Pomfrey turned to me. "You need to sleep too. You've lost a lot of blood and I'm not letting you out until it's all fully regained. Is that clear?" I nodded as she handed me a potion. I didn't care what it was. I drank it slowly. At first, nothing happened. But when I was about to ask why it wasn't working, I drifted off to sleep.  
  
***  
  
I don't know how long I slept, but when I woke, I could see properly. There were no blurs or anything. I was all alone. I smirked; this could be my time to escape.  
  
But all plans of escape quickly faded when Madame Pomfrey came in looking very happy. "You're recovering very well, dear." She said, placing a tray of food on the table next to my bed. "You must be hungry. I'll be back in a bit. I just have to tend to Longbottom's burn. That boy is always in here…day after day."  
  
I was hungry. Starving, actually. To my good fortune, I was able to sit up without falling and could easily manage a bowl of oatmeal. In no time, the bowl was empty and I was lying down, bored out of my mind. Madame Pomfrey returned, frowning. "I bet you that Longbottom'll be back tomorrow." She said with a chuckle. "You have a visitor."  
  
I scowled. I knew who it was.  
  
Well, at least I thought I did. It wasn't Uncle.  
  
Madame Pomfrey picked something up off the ground. Leaning closer, I saw a tiny gray ball of fur. When it was placed in my arms, I heard it purring. A kitten! I couldn't help but cry at the memories of Maurice, but still, I was glad to have someone to talk to.  
  
"Who's it from?" I asked, grinning like a fool. Madame Pomfrey shrugged. "I don't know. He was left in a basket. The card read 'to Yelena', but that was all."  
  
I looked the kitten in his golden eyes. He reminded me of something…those eyes were very familiar. They were the same eyes the elephant picture had! But naming a cat 'Elephant' is silly, isn't it? I shrugged. No one else would really care about me, so I guess Elephant was a suitable name.  
  
"Hey Elephant." I said into his fur. Elephant purred like mad, rubbing his head against mine.  
  
I spent the next hour talking to my kitten. He always responded with a meow or some sort of action. He's adorable! Madame Pomfrey didn't like the idea of me having a cat, but she let him stay. He'd nap on the windowsill just above my head, sometimes jumping down onto my lap.  
  
A couple of days went by and lots happened. My darling little Elephant had gained my trust, and would never dare venture more than a foot away from me. Madame Pomfrey had removed the curtains, seeing that I was almost as healthy as I had been before. I never got any visitors.  
  
The days were long and boring. The only entertainment I had was Elephant and the book Madame Pomfrey had taken out of the library for me. It was about all the wizarding schools in the world. It wasn't really interesting, but I didn't have anything else to do.  
  
Longbottom had showed up twice in the time I was awake. He was rather clumsy, always spilling potions or something. He'd blush and grin at me while Madame Pomfrey removed the hex or whatever he had done to himself.  
  
After another few days, life got rather boring in the Hospital Wing. Until one night when I was having a hard time sleeping…  
  
"Hurry up. Careful! Don't hurt her!" It was Dumbledore.  
  
Madame Pomfrey ran to see what was going on. "Quiet! You'll wake-" She stopped abruptly. "Oh my god…"  
  
I couldn't see anything but three pairs of some damn feet, due to the fact that I had to keep my eyes mostly shut. I didn't want anyone to know I was awake. I find out more this way.  
  
"What happened to her?" Madame Pomfrey asked, her voice sounding very faint. I heard the noise of curtains closing. Knowing it was safe, I opened my eyes and sat up. The six feet were visible under the curtains.  
  
"We found her like this on the floor. She must've been on her way to the Great Hall. I heard a trumpet just before I reached her. I knew there wasn't anything I could do for her. It's the mind-lock curse." Dumbledore's voice seemed tired.  
  
Madame Pomfrey gasped. "But…but how? No student, not even Granger, could perform the mind-lock. It's very advanced magic, not to mention it's also dark magic." She took a deep breath. "And whoever it was, why would they attack a teacher?"  
  
I didn't understand. What was the mind-lock curse? Who was attacked? What was going on? Elephant stirred and meowed up at me. "Shh…" I whispered. "Or whoever's in there will have my head." Elephant seemed to understand. I made a mental note to myself; 'Look for any female teachers that missing.'  
  
I do hope it was Trelawny. She might have predicted it. So it was now, what, three true predictions of hers? I grinned.  
  
"There's nothing we can do for her just yet. If…If…" Madame Pomfrey couldn't get the words out. "If she survives the first few days, she'll probably survive until we find a cure…if there even is one."  
  
"I'll be staying with her." Dumbledore said. "Keep everyone away from here." Madame Pomfrey nodded and ran out quickly, sobbing quietly. The other person muttered something and left. Dumbledore was alone with whoever it was that got attacked.  
  
I stayed awake for hours, waiting for nothing at all. I just hoped Dumbledore had fallen asleep. As quiet as possible, I swung my legs over the side of the bed. When I stood, they were very shaky, not being used for who knows how long. After finding my balance, I crept over to the bed with the closed curtains. It was at the very end of the hospital.  
  
I put me ear against the curtains, trying to hear any signs of movement. Fortunately, I didn't. Slowly, I pulled the curtains open just enough for me to see.  
  
I nearly screamed.  
  
Lying in the bed was Professor McGonnogall. I was surprised that I recognized her. It was rather frightening. Her eyes were wide open and had rolled back into her head, so only the whites were showing. Her mouth was hanging open a bit and her skin had turned a dull, waxy gray. Her hands were clenched tightly into fists and I saw a thin trail of blood running onto the blankets.  
  
Her face kept twitching and it looked she was dead if you didn't see her chest. Her heart seemed to be racing, but it was weird. Her stomach looked as if it was caving in. Her ribs were popping out and I saw her heart very clearly. I shut the curtains and crept back to my bed, afraid I'd be sick.  
  
I lay awake for hours, not being able to find sleep. The sight of McGonnogall haunted my mind. Even Elephant had seemed upset.  
  
***  
  
I woke up so suddenly I wasn't aware that I had fallen asleep. Madame Pomfrey was shaking me gently.  
  
"Wha…?" I said groggily. She had a smile upon her face. "I've permission to release you." Thank god…I thought happily, grinning. "But there's something else. Dumbledore would like to tell you himself."  
  
I must be in trouble. What did I do? Was it about my attacking a prefect? He deserved every bruise I gave him!  
  
Dumbledore walked up to my bed from McGonnogall's. He looked very tired, but he smiled at me. "You've made an amazing recovery, Yelena. I am very surprised at what you've done you yourself and have put someone through a lot of anguish. He didn't want to live either. He blamed himself for your mistake.  
  
"As Madame Pomfrey may have told you, you will be released today, but with one condition. You will never go anywhere alone accept your room, which has been removed of all the thing we believe you might use to hurt yourself again. Your Uncle is willing to make this commitment. But are you?"  
  
I shivered. I never had hated Dumbledore, but I wasn't very glad to see him right now. But before I could stop myself, something crazy popped out of my mouth.  
  
"What happened to McGonnogall?"  
  
Dumbledore's face turned white as chalk and he looked at me like I was You- Know-Who or a dementor or something like that. I wanted to punch myself for asking. How could I be so stupid? Now I'll never be released!  
  
But Dumbledore wasn't angry. To my surprise, he smiled at me.  
  
"Seeing that you know something happened to her, you must have heard everything." I nodded. Dumbledore took a deep breath. "Professor McGonnogall is in a terrible state. You must've heard she is under the influence of the Mind-Lock curse. Well, you must be wondering what it is.  
  
"The Mind-Lock curse is a curse that can only be performed by an extremely skilled wizard. One who is skilled with the dark arts. It is a very powerful dark curse. I have to admit even I do not have the power to perform it, although I would have no reasons to do so. It is a curse that literally locks the person inside their mind. But it is not that simple. Once someone is subjected to the curse, the brain does strange things. I don't exactly know what, nor do I believe you should know."  
  
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. I was shocked. There was someone walking around the school trying to curse, maybe even kill, people randomly. Or was there a reason?  
  
"You can leave now." He said, his smile fading. "I will escort you to the Great Hall. It is almost time for dinner." I shrugged, sitting up in bed and taking me robes off the bedside table. I closed the curtains and got dressed. My legs were still wobbly, but I could manage.  
  
After making sure my bandages were firmly secured to my wrists, Dumbledore and I headed out with Elephant trailing close behind.  
  
This isn't going to be fun at all… 


	6. Chapter 6 - Yelena's Mistake

AN: YAY! Chapter 6! Hope you like it so far, if anyone's still reading it. I'm hoping for 5 reviews…maybe six, no that'd be pushing it. Whatever…just read. Heh…heh…  
  
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I was right. It wasn't fun.  
  
I had to always have someone with me to make sure I didn't try to kill myself again. It was normally, to my misfortune, Uncle. He was as bitter as ever, but he never spoke to me. I don't know what was up with him, but he never took unnecessary points from Griffyndor or any other houses, yet he never took points from his own.  
  
Many things were taken from my room so I could have some privacy. I was locked in at night with a spell that can only be broken by whoever casts it. I couldn't take it! They're locking me up like I was an animal! No matter how hard I tried, I wasn't able to break the spell.  
  
Professor McGonnogall still wasn't back. A shiver would run up my spine whenever I saw her empty seat at the staff table. I've heard rumors saying Transfiguration classes would be cancelled, but I didn't believe rumors.  
  
Late at night, I'd lie awake in bed thinking about my suicide attempt.  
  
Why did I do it? Do I really want to die?  
  
Elephant would always sleep practically on top of my head, but I didn't mind; it was good to know someone loved you.  
  
I never had much to do, so I decided to start a diary. I pulled out a boring book from the shelf and cast a spell to clear it's pages. I took my quill and started writing.  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I'm so depressed and bored out of my mind. I don't know what's happening. I'm afraid about the Mind-Lock curse. Whoever put it on McGonnogall must've done it for a reason. Maybe they want to destroy Hogwarts, but have to kill all the teachers first. I hope they curse Uncle next. Ha ha…he doesn't deserve to live. But then again, neither do I. No matter how much I try to deny it, we are alike in more ways than I'd like. Our hair, our noses, even our big feet and pale skin are the same! I still hate him, even though he visited me. But he didn't care about me really. He would just look bad if he hadn't visited. Elephant is sleeping on top of my head, so I'd better not move. It makes me wonder. Who gave me Elephant? Who would? I guess Pomfrey just found him and decided to give him to me so I wouldn't be lonely. Next time I'm alone and outside my room, I'll find a better way to kill myself so no one will find me. Maybe I'd fly a few miles away from the castle and then dive down to the ground. That would be efficient. I could jump off the tower…or maybe I could poison myself. My god! If anyone ever found this I'd be sure to kill them before myself. Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep.  
  
Yelena Snape  
  
I magicked the book back to the shelf, closed the lights, and fell asleep. I dreamt that Maurice was fighting Elephant and McGonnogall was trying to stop them. The elephant from the picture on the wall had jumped out of the frame and grew very large. It trumpeted loudly and hit McGonnogall with its trunk. Maurice and Elephant were both lying on the ground, exhausted. The elephant, satisfied, turned and with one more trumpet, leaped back into his picture.  
  
Someone was shaking me. I kept my eyes closed. Why does someone always have to wake me up early? I'm tired, god damnit! Rolling over, I opened my eyes. Uncle was staring back at me.  
  
I nearly screamed. "What are you doing?" I shouted. "I'm trying to sleep!" Uncle looked at his watch and then back to me. You'll be late for breakfast. I'll be waiting outside." And he left. Cursing, I climbed out from my bed and got dressed. Uncle escorted me to the Great Hall. Elephant was still asleep.  
  
On my way up, I passed the elephant portrait. The elephant was snoring quietly, its flowers back on its back.  
  
Peeves flew by me and threw a spitball at my head. "Peeves, you fucking shit!" I shouted, furious. No one throws something at me without paying the price. I pulled my wand out and ran after the poltergeist, but he had disappeared. "I'll kill you!" I screamed, knowing he was near. I ran away from Uncle, leaving him behind. "Big nose! Big nose! Big nose!" I heard Peeves cackling. "I'll kill you, Peeves!"  
  
I didn't notice someone was behind me when I said the curse. I wasn't even thinking.  
  
"Avada Kedavra!" I shouted. I knew my aim was true after hearing a loud 'thud'. Peeves had fallen.  
  
"Miss Snape!" Someone said firmly. I freaked out. Someone had seen me! Why did I have to do it? I was surely going to be locked up in Azkaban for this. I turned around and nearly screamed.  
  
Dumbledore was standing, wand out, looking furious. "Come with me." He said coldly. I wanted to turn and run away, but something in his eyes made me follow. He led me past a stone gargoyle, which revealed his office. "Sit down." He said. Trembling, I lowered myself into a chair.  
  
"I'm sorry, Professor." I cried. "I didn't mean to! I was angry! I couldn't control it. I didn't know what I was doing!" Dumbledore wasn't listening. He was rummaging through a closet for something. He turned to me, anger replaced by a hint of sadness, holding a picture in his hands. He slammed it down on the desk, still silent.  
  
It was a picture of two wizards; one was short with black hair, and the other was taller, with brown hair and the beginnings of a beard. I was pretty sure it was Dumbledore, but who was the short wizard? "His name is Charles." Dumbledore said, sitting down. "Or at least that's what it used to be." I looked up at Dumbledore. Why was he showing me a picture of him and Charles? What was the point?  
  
"He was my best friend. Captured and tortured many years ago by Lord Voldemort." I winced. "When they found him, he was almost dead. But he survived. He was never the same…" It finally hit me that Dumbledore was talking about Peeves. I did everything I could to stop my jaw from dropping. Surely, I wasn't powerful enough to kill…I hope.  
  
"Professor, I-" "I know you didn't mean it…you surely didn't kill him. But you will be punished for your actions. I shall speak to Fudge about it…I'll let you know tomorrow. You may go." I stood silently and headed for the door. "I'm sorry-" "You may go now." He repeated. Shocked, I ran from Dumbledore's office only to find Uncle waiting for me. He looked just as angry as Dumbledore.  
  
Without saying anything, we made our way to the great hall.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Sorry the chapter was so short…the next one will be better, I promise. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! 


	7. Chapter 7 - Into the Future

AN: MAJOR NOTE!: Chapter 7 takes place two years later. Please review!  
  
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A large, black owl flew in through my window. It landed on my desk, staring at me with its red eyes. I called its name; it flew over to my bed, dropping a letter in my outstretched hand. I quickly opened it, my hands shaking with excitement.  
  
The Triwizard Tournament is to be held at Hogwarts this year. This is our chance! We must act soon! I'm still searching for him. I know I'm getting closer. Go to the Quidditch World Cup. There's a ticket in the envelope. Crouch'll be in the top box with his elf. Stay with him. He's got a letter in his right pocket for you.  
  
P.P.  
  
P.S. How much are you feeding the wolf? Just give him one meal a day…what he deserves.  
  
I grinned. Finally! All of our hard work had finally paid off. It's a shame I didn't stay at Hogwarts. I would have been great help. I would have been honored above all the others. But I couldn't stay there. Not with Dumbledore and Uncle…I can't stand them!  
  
It's a wonder how weak I was. Not even able to kill Peeves! If any of the others knew two years ago I couldn't even kill a poltergeist, I'd probably be tortured or something.  
  
I quickly wrote a note back to Peter.  
  
I'll be there. How is Crouch able to come? Well, it's all for the better. I could throw the elf out of the box, to keep her out of the way. Finally, our lord will rise again. But how? You'd better have a good plan this time. I don't even think I should give the wolf one meal. He deserves to die…to suffer. But we must keep him alive. The lord would want to question him.  
  
Y.S.  
  
I rolled up the letter and tied it to the owl's leg. "Peter Pettigrew." I said. "And hurry." The owl took off as quickly as it had come. Once it was out of sight, I hid my letter in a desk drawer and went downstairs.  
  
In my living room, there was a trapdoor under the couch. I kicked the couch aside and went down the ladder in the trapdoor. It was my homemade dungeon, so to speak. It was cold and dark. Half of the room was a prison. It looked sort of like Azkaban. I had to stay there for three weeks for trying to kill that damn poltergeist. It was awful. The only thing Azkaban had that my dungeon did not was a dementor.  
  
My prisoner sat, huddled against the wall. He was shivering in the torn robes he wore. His hair had grown almost down to his ears and was quite messy. He had cuts and bruises all over his frail body. Many were still bleeding. Last night was a full moon.  
  
"Werewolf. Get up." I said sharply. He slowly raised his head to look at me, his eyes expressing his pain. His lip was bleeding freely. He often would hurt himself when he transformed. He would try and escape. But the bars were heavily under the influences of strong unbreakable charms.  
  
"You hungry?" His eyes widened, but he said nothing. "Answer me." Still nothing. "Answer me! Crucio!" I laughed as he screamed with pain. I have felt the pain he was feeling a number of times. I enjoyed giving it to him. Once the curse wore off, he looked back at me, trembling.  
  
"Hungry?" I asked again. He would always obey after he was tortured. "Y- yes…" He muttered in a tiny voice, still shaking. "That's better." I said. "I've orders to reduce the amount of food you get again. Personally, I love to watch you suffer. I believe you deserve it all. But I need to keep you alive for Voldemort." Reluctantly, I slid a piece of hard bread through one of the bars.  
  
"It's your only meal today." I said. "Don't waste it." I turned and left. Why did the others have to leave me with the job of guarding Remus Lupin? It is hard to fight the incredible urge I have to kill him.  
  
***  
  
The night before the Quidditch World Cup, there was a full moon. I contented myself in watching the Werewolf injure himself even further. I did throw in the cruciatus curse a few times, but he was already in too much pain to notice. Elephant, my grey cat, sat down beside me, watching what her owner could do. But that stupid animal would always stay with the wolf after the full moon or a torture session.  
  
But still, I find that no matter how hard I try, I can't bring myself to killing my cat, even though he is nothing more than a nuisance. He reminds me of the only friend I had. He reminds me of Maurice. But now I don't need a cat as a friend. There are others, just like me, who were my friends. We all shared the same hope, the same dream.  
  
We all hoped to resurrect and serve Lord Voldemort.  
  
***  
  
That morning, I woke up early to get ready for the Quidditch World Cup. I changed into robes of pure silver, braiding my hair into tiny little braids using a charm I created. I didn't want to attract attention, but who wouldn't with a nose like mine? Black might be too suspicious. I hid my wand in my right boot and dissapparated with a *pop*.  
  
In a few short seconds, I re-appeared outside the large golden arena. My apparating wasn't perfect yet, so I had to walk half a mile to get there. But so did many other witches and wizards. I pulled out my ticket and showed it to the usher. "Good seat, eh?" I barely nodded. Crouch was here? It wasn't possible. If Peter's lying I'll kill him!  
  
I climbed the steps up to the top box and arrived at my destination shortly after. It was nearly full. There was Lucious Malfoy and his family (he nodded when he saw I had entered), Cornelius Fudge (I tried to avoid his gaze), some other witches and wizards, the Weasleys, some boy and girl, and the elf. Where that elf was, Crouch was close by.  
  
I took a seat next to the seat the elf was guarding. With her head in her hands, she wouldn't notice if Yelena spoke to him.  
  
"Crouch?" I whispered. There was no reply. "Barty…Barty Crouch?" There was still no reply. He was probably still under the imperius curse. I stuck my hand out, which came in contact with what felt like a shoulder. "Thank god you're here. You ok?" I found it silly, conversing with someone under the imperius curse.  
  
"Let me find that letter." I said. Making sure no one saw, I slipped my hand under the invisibility cloak and felt around for the pocket. After finding it, I pulled out the letter. Slowly, I opened it.  
  
P.P. will resurrect the Dark Lord. It will be at his father's cemetery. Be prepared to apparate at his side when you feel the mark…he will capture Harry Potter at the end of the third task.  
  
Harry Potter? He was friends with that klutz I stood up for while Uncle punished him. What was Voldemort planning to do with Harry Potter? Whatever it is, it will hopefully bring him back to power. I watched the match in silence, not even cheering or applauding. I had an idea!  
  
***  
  
A/N: Ha ha! Told you this next chapter will be better…sorry if you're mad about Yelena's fate…but she won't be a death eater all her life, I can tell you that…ok…nuff said. 


	8. Chapter 8 - After the Game

A/N: This takes place (still) at the Quidditch World Cup…good thing I didn't get any angry reviews about Yelena being a death eater…actually…I didn't get any new reviews at all…**shrugs** strange, eh? Well anyways, I bring you Chapter 8.  
  
********************  
  
Just as the match ended, I was about to leave before anyone noticed me, when something grabbed my wrist. I looked down to see a bodiless hand coming from behind the elf. Crouch.  
  
I quickly sat back down. "Crouch! Is it really you?" "Y-yea…" He whispered, sounding like talking was a great effort. Of course it was a great effort! He's under the imperius curse! But he's fighting it…I know it.  
  
"I have an idea." I whispered, grabbing my wand. "Imperio!" I whispered so quietly that not even Crouch could hear me. If my plan worked, Crouch would now be under my control and not someone else's. Hold out your hand. I directed him and he did so. "Yes!" I said, removing the curse. I knew he was free.  
  
"I need your wand." He said suddenly.  
  
My wand? What would Crouch do with it? But suddenly, I saw the boy in front of me. "Steal the boy's. I have a plan. On his way out, grab the boy's wand. I'll fire the dark mark at night and do some muggle torturing. Try to escape."  
  
I felt his grip tighten on my wrist. "No. I'll take his wand, but I will fire the dark mark. You just sit back and watch. This will be…amusing." I could tell, although he was invisible, that Crouch was smiling. I nodded and pulled my wrist out of his grasp as the Quidditch teams came into the top box. "Shhhh!"  
  
***  
  
About five hours later, Crouch and I were in the forest. Crouch had succeeded in stealing the boy's wand.  
  
"Come on and do it!" I urged him. "We don't have all night!" "Shut up! They'll hear us." He said, running his hands over the wand.  
  
"Master Barty! Master Barty!" Came a very distressed voice. "Master Barty!!!!" "Shit." Crouch muttered. "It's the elf."  
  
"DO IT NOW!" I hollered. Crouch pointed the wand into the air and said the spell; "MORSMORDRE!" I quickly threw the invisibility cloak over his body and ran off in the other direction as the Dark Mark appeared in the air. But the good news ended all too soon.  
  
"STUPEFY!" I heard the stunning spell being shouted by many voices. "Damn. Crouch! Get out of the way!" I hissed as the red light shot straight at where Crouch was supposedly standing. But I knew it was too late. I heard a loud thump, which probably meant that Crouch had been hit.  
  
"DAMN!" I shouted as I disapparated.  
  
***  
  
I re-appeared instantly inside my living room. Elephant ran up to me and rubbed his head against my leg. But it didn't comfort me. Crouch was caught. And it was my fault. I should have fired the Dark Mark instead of him. I should have stolen the wand. But that damn Crouch was too proud to let me do anything to save him.  
  
Totally forgetting about the wolf, I changed into a nightgown, un-braided my hair and crawled into bed. Elephant slept on the couch above the wolf. That damn cat!  
  
That morning, I woke up shivering, only to find the window was open. I grabbed my wand and pushed it closed. Just as I began to fall back asleep, there was a knock on the door. Cursing, I wrapped my blanked around my muscular body and headed to the door.  
  
Just two years ago, I was the chubby suicidal teacher's assistant. But who would ever guess two years of physical training would turn me into who I am? I grinned. I now had no thoughts of suicide. My Lord would surely need me once he returns.  
  
"I'm coming…I'm coming!" I mumbled sleepily, my blanket dragging across the ground. I opened the door and nearly dropped my blanket. Peter Pettigrew was standing in my doorway. "My god…Peter!" I threw my arms around his neck. It was good to see him here.  
  
"Hey Yelena." He said softly. "Sorry 'bout the game." He said. I nodded, taking my arms off of him. "Where's the wolf?" He had a glimmer in his eyes that made him seem almost attractive for a short moment. I knew what he was thinking. I wanted to do the same thing. So I turned and kicked the couch off the trapdoor.  
  
"It's time for some fun around here." He said, following me down the passage. The wolf was huddled in a corner. When we got in, he raised his head slightly, staring up at us with his eyes filled with terror. It was as if he already felt the pain even before we drew our wands.  
  
"Guests first." I smirked, nudging Peter. We stood there for a while, performing the cruciatus curse and others upon the wolf.  
  
"Oww! Get off me you bloody cat!" I heard Peter yell, a loud hiss following. I turned to see that Elephant had lunged at Peter's head, scratching and biting him.  
  
"Elephant! Stop!" I scolded, pulling her off Peter's head, which was bleeding in many places. "Bad!" I shouted at Elephant, who stared up at me. Before I could stop myself, I threw Elephant at the wall. Her small body slid to the ground, not moving.  
  
"C'mon." I said to Peter. "Let's go." He nodded, holding his head, muttering silently.  
  
The wolf stared up at us, his body trembling.  
  
***  
  
A/N: It's the end of chapter 8! Yay! Ok, next chapter is Lupin's POV. Review. Review. Review. 


	9. Chapter 9 - Flashback

A/N: Chapter 9 is LUPIN'S POV…just so you won't be confused. There's a flashback in this…and yea. Some new surprises about someone…  
  
***  
  
I watched them go, pain surging through my weak body. How long would I have to put up with this? I'm already tortured; I'm starving.  
  
That girl, though, she looks so familiar. But it's not possible…  
  
:::Flashback:::  
  
"Remus? Remus!" a short girl with raven black hair came running up to me. She threw her arms around my waist. "Oh, Remus! I can't believe it's you!"  
  
I smiled down at her, but pulled myself out of her grasp. She knew my secret…I don't know how, but she found out. And why would she still want to be with me? He saw the happy glow in her eyes begin to fade.  
  
"Amanda, I…"  
  
"No, Remus." She said, her eyes filling with tears. "I love you. I always will, and you know that. I understand…you're afraid for my safety. But I'm seventeen! I can take care of myself. If you don't want to have a relationship with me, that's fine." Without even letting me speak, she turned and ran onto the Hogwarts Express.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius said from behind. I turned to see his smiling face. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the sad look in my eyes.  
  
"Mandy…" was all I said. Remus frowned. "Look, Remus, she had to know. She's your girlfriend…" My sadness quickly turned to anger. I grabbed Sirius's shirt collar and threw him against the platform entrance. "You told her?" I shouted.  
  
"It was only for the best-" "How would you know what's best for me? You, James and Peter swore you'd never tell anybody. If I knew you would break your promise, I'd-" I was at a loss of words. The only time I had ever been mad at Sirius was when he told me he was an animagus.  
  
I sighed. "You thought it was a good idea if she knew. I understand…but now Mandy broke up with me. You happy now? You've been admiring her for years…now's your chance." I said bitterly, turning and jogging to the train.  
  
:::Still a Flashback…four months later:::  
  
"Remus!" Sirius called, running up the stairs in the common room. "Remus!" He ran into our room, panting. I looked up from my book.  
  
"What is it?" Sirius looked upset, and he hardly was upset. "They found her." He panted.  
  
I jumped out of my seat, the book falling to the floor. "They found her! How is she? Where is she?" But Sirius wasn't smiling.  
  
"Mandy's dead." He said quietly. My legs felt weak as I fell back into the chair. "No!" Mandy wasn't dead. I just saw her last week! I hadn't spoken to her since the train. "She can't be dead." I said finally.  
  
Sirius shook his head, walking over to my chair. "They confirmed it. It's not a curse or anything." He took a deep breath. "She's gone."  
  
Both of us had been dating Mandy at a point in our lives. Sirius was the last person to see her before she disappeared without a trace.  
  
:::End Flashback:::  
  
I still feel guilty about her.  
  
As I sat on the ground, something gray caught my eye. I looked to see a gray cat lying on the floor. The cat that saved me from further torture from my former best friend. It would have looked dead if I hadn't seen the rise and fall of its chest. Elephant was its name, I think. The cat stayed by me often.  
  
It reminded me of Mandy. She had her own cat, a gray just like this one. When Sirius became an animagus, she found out, and ever since then, she'd tried to become one. But she never did. She only lived for seventeen years. She died far too young. She was going to be an Auror…  
  
***  
  
(A/N: This is from someone else's point of view…can't tell you who. Just try and guess…)  
  
My eyes opened slowly. The sharp pain in my chest woke me. I looked around to get my surroundings; I was lying on a cold, hard floor. I thought I was alone until I heard someone else breathing. It was him! The man who Yelena's got. He's so familiar. Smells like a dog, but still very familiar.  
  
I've been like this for far too long. It's about time I was myself again. But after all, I am dead. Dead to everyone but myself. It was a rather simple trick actually. I'm surprised no one thought of a polyjuice potion. But that means I'm still a secret.  
  
***  
  
A/N: End of chapter 9. My story's coming along well, doncha think? But how will I kno? You don't review. **Sigh** there's a bit of mystery, eh? Who is the 'someone else'? I know…you don't…nyeh! Peace out. 


	10. Elephant's Love

A/N: Chapter 10! YAY! Double digits! Happy birthday to my fic…ok. I'll stop now…I'm scaring u, eh? Well, some BIG secret that I've been keeping from you **sticks out tongue** is revealed.  
  
***  
  
(A/N: Now back to Yelena's POV…enjoy!)  
  
I sat down on my couch and turned on the television. I found that if I lived in the muggle world, I'd have a better chance of not getting caught by some dumb Auror. Although it does confuse the neighbors when they hear the wolf howling…  
  
I smirked, flipping through the channels. Nothing good was ever on, but I watched anyways just for the sake of watching. So I kept it on some channel with music videos and some stupid famous person as a guest with all these people cheering in the background. (A/N: TRL!!!!!)  
  
How did Peter find me? How did he know where I was? He would never have suspected I was living like a muggle unless someone was spying on me. I held up my middle finger just incase the spy was watching. I hope they were.  
  
***  
  
(Back to the mystery person's POV)  
  
I stood up, stretching my sore back. It hurt when you get thrown into a wall. Well, I'll be fine…I've been through worse.  
  
Stretching my legs, I walked over to the metal bars containing the 'prisoner'. He was asleep, if he wasn't dead. I felt sorry for him as I looked through the bars. He must be starving. What happened to him? His robes were torn to the point that there was hardly any cloth covering his body.  
  
Bus as I looked at him, there was just something about him that made me believe I've met him before. So I squeezed myself between the bars and curled up in his lap. I looked up at him, waiting for him to wake. My tail rested on his hand and I emitted a low purring sound, hoping it would wake him, although he needed sleep.  
  
My purr turned out to be louder than I expected, although it did wake the man up. His eyelids lifted slowly, revealing his tired, bloodshot eyes. At first he didn't notice me lying there, although how he didn't notice a fat, gray purring cat was beyond me. I pawed at his leg to get him to notice me.  
  
He glanced down at me, not uttering a word, but ran his hand along my backside. I purred, eyes closing. I could tell I knew this person from somewhere! But where? Well, I'm not helping him by sitting in his lap. I'd better do what I intended on.  
  
I jumped out of his lap and walked to the other side of the cell. Then, concentrating as best I could, I tried to remember my human form. It was rather hard, having not been a human for a few years. But I knew I had remembered well enough to become human again. Although my tail and whiskers still remained.  
  
At first, he must have thought he was seeing things. He rubbed his eyes, his hands shaking. But I still stood before him, although I was completely naked. I've come accustom to be seen naked as a cat; humans are no different. As I walked closer to him, I saw his body tense up as he tried to get away from me. But this effort caused him a great deal of pain.  
  
"It's alright." I said calmly in a voice I hadn't heard for years. He was still afraid, still shaking. "Don't be afraid." I said. But whatever he had been through, it was too much. I'm guessing he must have trusted the wrong person.  
  
"I won't hurt you. I promise." And I looked into the eyes of only one person. And that person was Remus Lupin.  
  
I gasped, stepping back. "Accio wand!" I whispered, hoping I had enough magic to do anything without my wand, which wasn't easy.  
  
But this wasn't the Remus Lupin I remembered. Although we were the same age, he had aged quicker than I. He had many gray hairs and a couple of wrinkles. But it's hard not to be under pressure when you're a werewolf.  
  
"Please," I said, kneeling down so I could be at eye's level with him. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm a friend." He didn't say anything, but the fear in his eyes died down a little. "I'm here to help." Remus gave a slight nod, breaking eye contact.  
  
"I pushed my brown hair behind my ears as I heard a faint whistling sound. In one second, my wand crashed through the window and into my hand. Without even thinking, I whispered "Reparo". The pieces of glass zoomed together and the window was fixed. A whisper drew my attention to Lupin.  
  
"Are you going t-to kill me?" He whispered in a barely audible voice. My eyes widened. "Remus." I said. "Why would I kill you? I bet you don't remember me, but I once loved you. And you doubted that, but I loved you. And I still do." I aimed my wand at his chest and he tried to back away into the wall. I racked my brain to remember the charm Madame Pomfrey used on me a countless amount of times.  
  
After I said the charm, a yellow light shot out of my wand and disappeared into Remus's chest. He let out a deep sigh as (hopefully) some of the pain went away.  
  
I heard the creak of a door and I knew it was Yelena! "Mandy?" Remus whispered. But I couldn't answer; I had already transformed. Looking back at Remus, I winked and ran out through the bars.  
  
***  
  
A/N: Chapter ten is done and gone…I wonder what will happen in the next chapter. I'm serious…I didn't write it yet. Peace! Luv! VROOM! 


	11. Chapter 11 - Escape

A/N: Ok, this is Chapter eleven! **Squeals** Where'd all my reviews go? Ok, so this one's back to Yelena's POV.  
  
***  
  
I heard the sound of feet as I walked down the twisted stairway. I saw Elephant sitting by a wall and the wolf was still where he was. But the way he stared at Elephant, there had to be something wrong. I looked around and noticed something poking through the wolf's robes. A wand!  
  
"Accio." I sneered as the wand came flying into my hand. The wolf's eyes widened and Elephant slipped through the cage and jumped into his lap. "You know what's coming, don't you." I smirked as the wolf began to tremble. I raised my wand high and said the one word that he feared the most. "Crucio!"  
  
I glared down at him, the smile turning into a frown. "That's the last time I'll find you with a wand." I said, turning and leaving. Why, why, WHY do I have to keep him alive? I'm sure my lord wouldn't mind…no, actually, then he'd kill me. Once my lord has gotten all he has out of the wolf, I will kill him. And I will make sure it won't be painless, oh no. He'd suffer all right…  
  
I kicked the couch back over the trapdoor and went into the kitchen to make some lunch.  
  
***  
  
(Back to Elephant's POV.)  
  
I lay in his lap until I was sure Yelena was gone. Even though the curse wasn't aimed at me, it still hurt me as Lupin was tortured. When I was sure it was safe, I transformed back to my human self, this time minus the whiskers, but the tail still remained. I ran to Lupin's side and grabbed his hand.  
  
"Remus." I whispered. He slowly turned his head to face me, his eyes half opened. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much pain he had been through. "Are you alright?" I asked, looking into his eyes.  
  
"Is it really you, Mandy?" I looked at him, my lower lip trembling as memories of the past came flooding back.  
  
"If you don't want to have a relationship with me, that's fine."  
  
"I'm Seventeen. I can take care of myself."  
  
I shook the thoughts out of my head. "Yes." I said finally. "It's really me." A small smile appeared on his lips, but was gone all too quickly when the door burst open. Without thinking, I threw my body over Remus's, clutching his shoulders.  
  
"What the hell…?" Yelena shouted. I felt her gaze rest upon me and I heard the sound that meant her wand was out.  
  
"Elephant?" She asked, eyeing my tail. I turned to her, not letting go of Remus. "Leave him alone! He never did anything to you!" A smile appeared on Yelena's face. She laughed, her voice echoing on the walls. "He didn't do anything…but we'll need him later. I should've known there was something weird about you. You're not a cat…you never were!"  
  
She raised her wand and pointed it at me. "Crucio!" She shouted. I screamed; it was the most painful thing imaginable. It was like my body was on fire, but I still didn't let go of Remus. And then the pain was gone. I lay there, gasping. Yelena was just about to perform the cruciatus curse on me again, but after years of being an auror, my reflexes were strong.  
  
"ACCIO!" I shouted, and although I didn't have my wand, the wand in Yelena's flew into mine. "Stupefy!" I shouted. The spell hit Yelena in the stomach and she fell to the floor. Without waiting for a protest, I managed to create a portkey out of my hairclip. Remus and I grabbed onto it and disappeared.  
  
We re-appeared in a forest. My legs gave way and I sank to the ground. Remus stared at me, his eyes wide and darting around. His heavy breathing was the only sound until he spoke. "But you're dead." He said blankly, staring at me.  
  
"I-I…" I took a deep, shuddery breath and spoke. "My brother was bitten by a werewolf. But it should've been me. If I hadn't ran away…I would've gotten bitten. So I made a polyjuice potion-enough to last a few weeks- and gave it to some animal. I then killed it and put it in the school and…I ran away. But over the time, I invented something you might be familiar with. The Wolfsbane potion."  
  
"And then I became an animagus and returned to Hogwarts, where Yelena took me as her pet. And that's it, I guess…"  
  
When I looked back at Lupin, he had fallen asleep. I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder, and I was asleep soon after. 


End file.
